Eulogies from Allen's
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tribute read and written by
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Jack Miller |
Good afternoon. On behalf of the Mackey and the Bogue family and Lauren Mackey we thank you for coming out today to remember Allen. We will have several speakers followed lastly by Lauren. After Lauren speaks we will play a song during which we will move Allen to the car. We ask that you remain seated until Lauren and Allen are ready to depart. After the burial service you are invited to come to North United Methodist Church at 38th and Meridian. For those not attending the burial service, please depart immediately after we have been dismissed. Thank you.
My first memory of my cousin Allen was a sound coming from the kitchen. I heard this distinct popping sound in the early morning. As I walked into the kitchen, Allen was there in his high chair with a bunch of Cheerios spread out before him. He was carefully and methodically eating each one and the sound was coming from his huge cheeks and lips he had as a toddler. He was the kind of toddler you wanted to pick up and hold yet he always had even then an independent quality about him. While it’s a cliché’ to call someone an old soul, Allen certainly had that about him even at the earliest of ages.
During my college years I spent many summers staying with my cousins. Chris and Allen were then roughly 10 and 7. Allen always looked up to his older brother. One of our favorite things to do was to roughhouse as we would call it and do “pile-on’s.” This typically started with Chris jumping on top of me and then Allen last on top. More than once Chris and I would say Allen is next to be at the bottom of the pile at which point this beautiful little blonde haired boy would fly out of the room screaming “I’m not playing anymore.”
The summers also typically included a trip to Cedar Pointe. If you haven’t been there it has the largest amount of roller-coasters in one place anywhere in the world. Allen would always be fearless going on every ride and we would finish our nights having spinach and artichoke dip talking about the day’s events and planning which coasters we would ride first thing in the morning.
Another tradition Chris and Allen and I shared was picking out silly birthday cards. I don’t know who started it first but a typical card always had a little girl on it with themes like “Have a Happy Princess Birthday” or “Happy 3rd birthday to the sweetest little girl in the world.” You get the idea. My favorite one had the picture of a little girl on the front picking her nose. The inscription read “This will always be my favorite picture of you.”
There were also tons of summer movies like Hook, and Disney’s The Little Mermaid where Larry loved singing Under the Sea in the house to the cries of Chris and Allen shouting to quit singing it so much. These and many more I simply cannot watch without thinking of them.
While my time with Allen was mostly at a younger age, I wish I had known him as well as a young man. We always knew Allen was intelligent, but his capacity to tackle science seemed limitless. To this day I don’t know of anyone who got admitted to Med School and then decided it wasn’t right and moved into areas like Nano-technology publishing papers and speaking in front of peers twice his age. It was classic Allen. Always thoughtful. He didn’t need a stethoscope to listen to his heart.
Allen could also hold a secret. On his 30th birthday Lauren and Allen were in Colorado and stayed with us. We celebrated together this milestone only to find out later he and Lauren had married earlier in the week in the mountains. We had no idea. To see Lauren and Allen together was to see two people in sync with the other. Lauren, you are now and forever my beloved cousin’s wife and family. I am thankful for your presence in his life and all you did for him.
These moments tend to bring out regrets around all the things we didn’t do or could have done more together in his all too short time with us. I am grateful for the times we did have. Allen’s presence will always be felt in my life in so many ways. His patience with anyone. His calming voice when others are raised. His sweet laugh. His wonderful hugs.
During this very difficult time, I found out Allen loved reading The Upanishads. These religious texts from India are over 3,000 years old. Allen had marked up and highlighted his favorite passages. The Upanishads and The Bhagavid Gita are some of my favorite books. I wish we had had time to talk about them together.
One passage he marked reads:
“When all the desires that surge in the heart are renounced, the mortal becomes immortal.
When all the knots that strangle the heart are loosened, the mortal becomes immortal.”
You are immortal my cousin and I miss and love you so very much.
My first memory of my cousin Allen was a sound coming from the kitchen. I heard this distinct popping sound in the early morning. As I walked into the kitchen, Allen was there in his high chair with a bunch of Cheerios spread out before him. He was carefully and methodically eating each one and the sound was coming from his huge cheeks and lips he had as a toddler. He was the kind of toddler you wanted to pick up and hold yet he always had even then an independent quality about him. While it’s a cliché’ to call someone an old soul, Allen certainly had that about him even at the earliest of ages.
During my college years I spent many summers staying with my cousins. Chris and Allen were then roughly 10 and 7. Allen always looked up to his older brother. One of our favorite things to do was to roughhouse as we would call it and do “pile-on’s.” This typically started with Chris jumping on top of me and then Allen last on top. More than once Chris and I would say Allen is next to be at the bottom of the pile at which point this beautiful little blonde haired boy would fly out of the room screaming “I’m not playing anymore.”
The summers also typically included a trip to Cedar Pointe. If you haven’t been there it has the largest amount of roller-coasters in one place anywhere in the world. Allen would always be fearless going on every ride and we would finish our nights having spinach and artichoke dip talking about the day’s events and planning which coasters we would ride first thing in the morning.
Another tradition Chris and Allen and I shared was picking out silly birthday cards. I don’t know who started it first but a typical card always had a little girl on it with themes like “Have a Happy Princess Birthday” or “Happy 3rd birthday to the sweetest little girl in the world.” You get the idea. My favorite one had the picture of a little girl on the front picking her nose. The inscription read “This will always be my favorite picture of you.”
There were also tons of summer movies like Hook, and Disney’s The Little Mermaid where Larry loved singing Under the Sea in the house to the cries of Chris and Allen shouting to quit singing it so much. These and many more I simply cannot watch without thinking of them.
While my time with Allen was mostly at a younger age, I wish I had known him as well as a young man. We always knew Allen was intelligent, but his capacity to tackle science seemed limitless. To this day I don’t know of anyone who got admitted to Med School and then decided it wasn’t right and moved into areas like Nano-technology publishing papers and speaking in front of peers twice his age. It was classic Allen. Always thoughtful. He didn’t need a stethoscope to listen to his heart.
Allen could also hold a secret. On his 30th birthday Lauren and Allen were in Colorado and stayed with us. We celebrated together this milestone only to find out later he and Lauren had married earlier in the week in the mountains. We had no idea. To see Lauren and Allen together was to see two people in sync with the other. Lauren, you are now and forever my beloved cousin’s wife and family. I am thankful for your presence in his life and all you did for him.
These moments tend to bring out regrets around all the things we didn’t do or could have done more together in his all too short time with us. I am grateful for the times we did have. Allen’s presence will always be felt in my life in so many ways. His patience with anyone. His calming voice when others are raised. His sweet laugh. His wonderful hugs.
During this very difficult time, I found out Allen loved reading The Upanishads. These religious texts from India are over 3,000 years old. Allen had marked up and highlighted his favorite passages. The Upanishads and The Bhagavid Gita are some of my favorite books. I wish we had had time to talk about them together.
One passage he marked reads:
“When all the desires that surge in the heart are renounced, the mortal becomes immortal.
When all the knots that strangle the heart are loosened, the mortal becomes immortal.”
You are immortal my cousin and I miss and love you so very much.
tribute read and written by
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Paul Jansen |
Chris and Lauren asked me to share a few things today to honor Allen’s memory- something I was honored to do. Some of you may know me and others may not, but my name is Paul and I met Allen while attending Brebeuf. During most of my time there I knew Allen as one that was surrounded by people with laughs and smiles. His wit and infectious positive attitude would envelope those around him. When Allen was part of the group, the event, the class- really if he was just around- you knew it was going to be a good time. I can’t recall why we started to grow close but it was only in the second half of our senior year that I really began to get to know him. Little did I know then that I was forming a friendship with a man that would touch, form, and help me become much of the person I am today.
Despite attending two different colleges, we continued to stay close throughout that formative time in our lives and continued to do so after college. Allen was someone I could share anything with- and know in doing so it would be without judgment or prejudice. I think many of us can relate to this in some way or another, but you knew you could lay anything at his feet and his sage like advice and perspective would be exactly what you needed to hear- and sometimes it wasn’t what you wanted to hear, but you would always be better for hearing it. His innate ability to understand, empathize, and simply to be present with people was a gift to every life he touched- and he did it with such kind, tenderness, didn’t he?
I believe that part of what made Allen, well Allen- was a part that he didn’t often share with many people- it was his powerful and regular sense of introspection. The man was on a journey of self-discovery of what made him the person he was and how his own existence related to the world around him. That was something he was private about. I think he was so in tune with who he was- he could be so present for everyone else. He would share this with me in a way, but it was usually without words- it was through shared experience. Allen had a real love and understanding of music- the words, the notes, but most important- the feeling- it described who he was. Often times that shared experience of listening to an album he wanted to share with me would tell me more about him than any words ever could. We traveled here and there to find the right vinyl, to upgrade the stereo system, traveled all over to see our favorite bands perform. The memories of those shared experiences will forever live in my heart.
It has been overwhelming for me these past few days as I have come to grips with this loss and sorrow I feel over losing such a shining star in my scape of loved ones, friends, and acquaintances - trying to make some sense of something that is so senseless. That hasn’t been easy- I’m sure it hasn’t been easy for any of us. Part of some solace I have found is to hear how many lives Allen was able to touch during his time on Earth. I read the Facebook posts of old friends and family- they have all echoed and enforced the picture of my good friend. I knew a bit of Allen’s involvement in this video game called Destiny. He had described it to me as a game in which he mentored and helped people. I had some idea what that meant, but in hindsight, really, I was clueless. While reading that community’s sense of loss over losing a person that many didn’t know personally- well it has been profound for me. The words they used to describe DrDrizzay AKA Boguester AKA Allen are the words I would use to describe the Allen I knew too- kind, beyond helpful, generous, selfless, giving, funny….simply irreplaceable. To echo what I said earlier, when DrDrizzay was on your team- you just knew it was going to be good. To see this played out in a whole other medium of the human experience has been powerful for me. Allen has always been something of a role model for me. To see all the lives he touched by just being the man he was-well it’s some solace in all this sense of loss- and is simply a reminder for me to live my own life the way he lived his life- the way he always lived it- as a man for others.
He was a man for his friends, a man for his acquaintances, a man to those he didn’t know, a man for his family, and most of all a man for his lovely wife, Lauren.
Not to be cliché and I’m sure there are better quotes, but as I sit here, listen to our favorite albums and write this I just heard what Paul McCartney wrote on Abbey Road, “And in the end, The love you take, is equal to the love you make.” I think we can all agree this sums up a big part of how Allen lived…and he made so much of it and was so loved as a result.
Allen, thank you for being so good to me over the years- you will be forever missed by me and everyone’s life you touched.
Despite attending two different colleges, we continued to stay close throughout that formative time in our lives and continued to do so after college. Allen was someone I could share anything with- and know in doing so it would be without judgment or prejudice. I think many of us can relate to this in some way or another, but you knew you could lay anything at his feet and his sage like advice and perspective would be exactly what you needed to hear- and sometimes it wasn’t what you wanted to hear, but you would always be better for hearing it. His innate ability to understand, empathize, and simply to be present with people was a gift to every life he touched- and he did it with such kind, tenderness, didn’t he?
I believe that part of what made Allen, well Allen- was a part that he didn’t often share with many people- it was his powerful and regular sense of introspection. The man was on a journey of self-discovery of what made him the person he was and how his own existence related to the world around him. That was something he was private about. I think he was so in tune with who he was- he could be so present for everyone else. He would share this with me in a way, but it was usually without words- it was through shared experience. Allen had a real love and understanding of music- the words, the notes, but most important- the feeling- it described who he was. Often times that shared experience of listening to an album he wanted to share with me would tell me more about him than any words ever could. We traveled here and there to find the right vinyl, to upgrade the stereo system, traveled all over to see our favorite bands perform. The memories of those shared experiences will forever live in my heart.
It has been overwhelming for me these past few days as I have come to grips with this loss and sorrow I feel over losing such a shining star in my scape of loved ones, friends, and acquaintances - trying to make some sense of something that is so senseless. That hasn’t been easy- I’m sure it hasn’t been easy for any of us. Part of some solace I have found is to hear how many lives Allen was able to touch during his time on Earth. I read the Facebook posts of old friends and family- they have all echoed and enforced the picture of my good friend. I knew a bit of Allen’s involvement in this video game called Destiny. He had described it to me as a game in which he mentored and helped people. I had some idea what that meant, but in hindsight, really, I was clueless. While reading that community’s sense of loss over losing a person that many didn’t know personally- well it has been profound for me. The words they used to describe DrDrizzay AKA Boguester AKA Allen are the words I would use to describe the Allen I knew too- kind, beyond helpful, generous, selfless, giving, funny….simply irreplaceable. To echo what I said earlier, when DrDrizzay was on your team- you just knew it was going to be good. To see this played out in a whole other medium of the human experience has been powerful for me. Allen has always been something of a role model for me. To see all the lives he touched by just being the man he was-well it’s some solace in all this sense of loss- and is simply a reminder for me to live my own life the way he lived his life- the way he always lived it- as a man for others.
He was a man for his friends, a man for his acquaintances, a man to those he didn’t know, a man for his family, and most of all a man for his lovely wife, Lauren.
Not to be cliché and I’m sure there are better quotes, but as I sit here, listen to our favorite albums and write this I just heard what Paul McCartney wrote on Abbey Road, “And in the end, The love you take, is equal to the love you make.” I think we can all agree this sums up a big part of how Allen lived…and he made so much of it and was so loved as a result.
Allen, thank you for being so good to me over the years- you will be forever missed by me and everyone’s life you touched.
tribute read and written by
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Garrett Hall |
Good morning,
I, too, am so grateful for all of you being here today. My name is Garrett, and I am also Allen’s cousin. I spent a lot time growing up with Uncle Larry, Aunt Ann, Chris and Allen. A lot of ski vacations in Michigan and Colorado. Summer vacations at the cottages in Glen Arbor. And week-long stays at their home here in Carmel. Allen was like a little brother to me growing up. Like little brothers often do, Allen would watch Chris and me and want to do and say some of the same things that we would do and say. Although, Allen was smart enough to not do everything that Chris and I would get into. I was trying to think of a single story to share and obviously there are just so many. So, looking back, there was one thing in particular that stood out to me about Allen. That was his ability to make anyone in a room feel comfortable. If there was ever anyone in a situation in which they seemed to feel out of place, that was the very person that Allen would gravitate towards. Allen always wanted everyone to feel loved. Also, what stands out was how genuine he was. I believe the overwhelming outpouring from the online community that Paul touched on is a great testament of that. Hundreds of people that never had the chance to meet Allen face to face such as most of us here have, and yet they described Allen in the same way and with the same words that we use.
Generous, kind, compassionate, caring. I think that is what Allen would want from all of us going forward, to be those very things that he very much was.
I, too, am so grateful for all of you being here today. My name is Garrett, and I am also Allen’s cousin. I spent a lot time growing up with Uncle Larry, Aunt Ann, Chris and Allen. A lot of ski vacations in Michigan and Colorado. Summer vacations at the cottages in Glen Arbor. And week-long stays at their home here in Carmel. Allen was like a little brother to me growing up. Like little brothers often do, Allen would watch Chris and me and want to do and say some of the same things that we would do and say. Although, Allen was smart enough to not do everything that Chris and I would get into. I was trying to think of a single story to share and obviously there are just so many. So, looking back, there was one thing in particular that stood out to me about Allen. That was his ability to make anyone in a room feel comfortable. If there was ever anyone in a situation in which they seemed to feel out of place, that was the very person that Allen would gravitate towards. Allen always wanted everyone to feel loved. Also, what stands out was how genuine he was. I believe the overwhelming outpouring from the online community that Paul touched on is a great testament of that. Hundreds of people that never had the chance to meet Allen face to face such as most of us here have, and yet they described Allen in the same way and with the same words that we use.
Generous, kind, compassionate, caring. I think that is what Allen would want from all of us going forward, to be those very things that he very much was.
tribute read by Christopher Mackey and written by
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Larry Allen Mackey |
Even at a young age, Allen Mackey could influence behaviors of others. All in good fun of course, I used to torture poor Allen by jumping out from behind every corner when he least expected to see anyone. Then one day, I arrived home to a quiet house and mindlessly went about changing clothes. When I opened the clothes hamper, out sprung Allen in full scream. We had a new understanding thereafter.
As friends have shared memories of Allen, one theme emerges: Allen was—even at the earliest age—a sweet, considerate and empathetic soul. As a school grader while living in Denver, Allen was interviewed LIVE on TV about the effects of the Oklahoma City bombing on HIS life. Allen’s only comment; delivered in a youngster’s small voice, was “please remember the victims.”
But there was also a genuine playfulness within Allen, and he loved play time, even in in high school. At Brebeuf he made a name for himself as a darn-good Michael Jackson impersonator in the school’s talent show. But he gathered most fame when—against all odds—he fearlessly challenged his Physics teacher, Mr. McDonald, to an unscheduled wrestling match during class. Video played:
As friends have shared memories of Allen, one theme emerges: Allen was—even at the earliest age—a sweet, considerate and empathetic soul. As a school grader while living in Denver, Allen was interviewed LIVE on TV about the effects of the Oklahoma City bombing on HIS life. Allen’s only comment; delivered in a youngster’s small voice, was “please remember the victims.”
But there was also a genuine playfulness within Allen, and he loved play time, even in in high school. At Brebeuf he made a name for himself as a darn-good Michael Jackson impersonator in the school’s talent show. But he gathered most fame when—against all odds—he fearlessly challenged his Physics teacher, Mr. McDonald, to an unscheduled wrestling match during class. Video played:
We have been told that to this day, this video is shared with physics students at Brebeuf on two different topics: 1. the physics of mass and force and 2. student discipline That scrawny, scrappy boy in the video later dedicated himself to a physical transformation. He researched human physiology; devoted himself to a diet of egg whites and all things healthy and went on to compete in amateur weight lifting events. And Mr. McDonald is just lucky Allen never challenged him to a rematch.
As Allen would say, we have and are the power of change.
Allen was blessed with a special mind and intellect, but thankfully he was always patient with his father who struggled to keep up. When we traveled to Barcelona for his presentation at a global scientific conference, he politely guided me to the nearest Starbucks.
Allen had a Wikipedia (formerly known as encyclopedic) memory and knowledge of so many subjects; including music, art and movies. Allen had the ear of a concert master and believed that music and art could heal, uplift and brighten every spirit.
Allen loved movies and the history of movie-making. He had a touch for matching just the right movie to his friends and family for just the right moment.
As I said, Allen knew his father’s limits. Given my fondness for the cinematic giant The Little Mermaid, Allen once paid me the biggest tribute when he said that I was the parenting equivalent of a “hot crustacean band.”
The best teachers combine competence with patience….and Allen was a natural teacher. As a high schooler he enrolled in a summer math course at Northwestern University; what he liked to call “calculus camp.” By summer’s end, his fellow students had anointed Allen as Resident Tutor. Throughout his life, Allen was an avid student and an equally devoted mentor to his friends and family, including his step brothers, Sam, Will and Micah, who each adored Allen.
Allen was innocent and adorable in so many ways. No matter his age, no matter the setting, when Allen came to visit—even as a grown man—he would stretch himself out on couch, wrap himself in a blanket from chin to toe and place his head or his feet in the nearest loved-one’s lap. Simple touch was important to Allen, and it connected him to the people he loved.
Inspired by his older brother [that would be me], Allen took his own backpacking adventure through Europe after graduating from Purdue. He traveled alone but brought home countless stories. In one story, Allen described a hang gliding flight he took in Germany. The launch site was off the ledge of a high mountain with a beautiful valley below. The guide’s instructions to Allen were simple but profound: “Run as fast as you can towards the edge and when you feel the ground disappear, JUST KEEP RUNNING.”
Allen lived his life that way. Not to say in a reckless manner; rather, more in the reality that all of us have moments when WHAT we rely on; when WHO we count upon; when ALL that holds us up; is GONE.
Allen lived his life knowing such moments occur. And when they do, Allen would say, Just Keep Loving One Another; JUST KEEP RUNNING
As Christopher delivers my final words today to Allen, I can only feel overwhelming gratitude and humility that—within the midst of his friends, his family and all of mankind—I experienced Allen Carr Mackey as my son.
Allen, I will always love you. Rest in peace.
As Allen would say, we have and are the power of change.
Allen was blessed with a special mind and intellect, but thankfully he was always patient with his father who struggled to keep up. When we traveled to Barcelona for his presentation at a global scientific conference, he politely guided me to the nearest Starbucks.
Allen had a Wikipedia (formerly known as encyclopedic) memory and knowledge of so many subjects; including music, art and movies. Allen had the ear of a concert master and believed that music and art could heal, uplift and brighten every spirit.
Allen loved movies and the history of movie-making. He had a touch for matching just the right movie to his friends and family for just the right moment.
As I said, Allen knew his father’s limits. Given my fondness for the cinematic giant The Little Mermaid, Allen once paid me the biggest tribute when he said that I was the parenting equivalent of a “hot crustacean band.”
The best teachers combine competence with patience….and Allen was a natural teacher. As a high schooler he enrolled in a summer math course at Northwestern University; what he liked to call “calculus camp.” By summer’s end, his fellow students had anointed Allen as Resident Tutor. Throughout his life, Allen was an avid student and an equally devoted mentor to his friends and family, including his step brothers, Sam, Will and Micah, who each adored Allen.
Allen was innocent and adorable in so many ways. No matter his age, no matter the setting, when Allen came to visit—even as a grown man—he would stretch himself out on couch, wrap himself in a blanket from chin to toe and place his head or his feet in the nearest loved-one’s lap. Simple touch was important to Allen, and it connected him to the people he loved.
Inspired by his older brother [that would be me], Allen took his own backpacking adventure through Europe after graduating from Purdue. He traveled alone but brought home countless stories. In one story, Allen described a hang gliding flight he took in Germany. The launch site was off the ledge of a high mountain with a beautiful valley below. The guide’s instructions to Allen were simple but profound: “Run as fast as you can towards the edge and when you feel the ground disappear, JUST KEEP RUNNING.”
Allen lived his life that way. Not to say in a reckless manner; rather, more in the reality that all of us have moments when WHAT we rely on; when WHO we count upon; when ALL that holds us up; is GONE.
Allen lived his life knowing such moments occur. And when they do, Allen would say, Just Keep Loving One Another; JUST KEEP RUNNING
As Christopher delivers my final words today to Allen, I can only feel overwhelming gratitude and humility that—within the midst of his friends, his family and all of mankind—I experienced Allen Carr Mackey as my son.
Allen, I will always love you. Rest in peace.
tribute read and written by
|
Ann Carr Mackey |
Allen came into this world a kind and gentle spirit. As his mother, I'd like to think I had something to do with his being so kind and so gentle, but I didn't. He was just born that way.
As a teenager, sometimes it took Allen a long time to mow the grass. I would hear him back the riding mower out of the garage, and make a few passes and then there would be silence. I would look out the back window, and see him lying on his back in the grass, with Drew, the little boy who lived next door, lying next to him, the two of them looking up at the clouds and kibitzing about who knows what.
He was all about living life, examining himself and the people and the world around him deeply and strongly, and not categorizing events or experiences as good or bad - just part of the journey, a journey he thought was so worth living.
He was all about helping others - always helping others. There was nothing more meaningful or special to him than to be able to give the gift of love and laughter and kindness to others. His gift of laughter sometimes came from a very dry sense of humor. He would respond to a question quickly and absolutely deadpan, with an answer that was complete nonsense. And then the twinkle in his eye.
I am absolutely sure that right now Allen is helping someone somewhere.
As a teenager, sometimes it took Allen a long time to mow the grass. I would hear him back the riding mower out of the garage, and make a few passes and then there would be silence. I would look out the back window, and see him lying on his back in the grass, with Drew, the little boy who lived next door, lying next to him, the two of them looking up at the clouds and kibitzing about who knows what.
He was all about living life, examining himself and the people and the world around him deeply and strongly, and not categorizing events or experiences as good or bad - just part of the journey, a journey he thought was so worth living.
He was all about helping others - always helping others. There was nothing more meaningful or special to him than to be able to give the gift of love and laughter and kindness to others. His gift of laughter sometimes came from a very dry sense of humor. He would respond to a question quickly and absolutely deadpan, with an answer that was complete nonsense. And then the twinkle in his eye.
I am absolutely sure that right now Allen is helping someone somewhere.
tribute read and written by
|
Christopher Carr Mackey |
Allen was a scientist, but he was also the most spiritual person I’ve ever known. He read every religious text, and he believed there was something to learn from every view, every perspective.
Some of my most treasured memories are sitting with Allen and talking life, love, spirituality … for hours and often until sunrise and beyond.
One of his favorite texts—and one he often returned to—was the Upanishads, the foundation of Hindu philosophical thought … with concepts shared by Buddhism and other philosophies.
So we went to the house and found Allen’s copy. And in true Allen form, it is full of his notes and tabs.
So I wanted to share some of these to help us all understand how Allen is doing … and how he’s handling this all much better than any of us.
FIRST,
Allen does not think this is Allen. He flagged the following and we talked about this at length:
“It is true the body is perishable, but within it dwells the imperishable Self. Those who know they are not the body pass beyond pleasure and pain to live in abiding joy. In that state, free from attachment, they move at will, laughing, playing, and rejoicing.”
And I believe Allen IS all around us, everywhere, laughing, playing, and rejoicing.
So while I try to survive this unbearable grief, I’ve been looking for Allen everywhere. And he keeps finding me and sharing his peace with me. I see him in the beauty of nature and I feel him in each of your compassionate embraces.
I think he would like me, our kids, and all of us to be a little more like him.
He wants us to be more patient, more generous with our time in helping others.
He wants us to think of others over our selves. He wants us to express our love for each other. And he wants us to cuddle more.
That’s my belief and that’s how I will strive to live and how Lucy and I will strive to raise our kids.
But again we don’t have to guess what Allen would have said about how to live … because he left another note:
“INSTRUCTIONS FOR PRACTICAL LIVING”
Speak the truth.
Swerve not from the good. Never do what is wrong.
Protect your spiritual progress always.
Give your best in learning and teaching.
See the divine in your mother, father, Teacher, and guest.
Give with love. Give with joy.
Some of my most treasured memories are sitting with Allen and talking life, love, spirituality … for hours and often until sunrise and beyond.
One of his favorite texts—and one he often returned to—was the Upanishads, the foundation of Hindu philosophical thought … with concepts shared by Buddhism and other philosophies.
So we went to the house and found Allen’s copy. And in true Allen form, it is full of his notes and tabs.
So I wanted to share some of these to help us all understand how Allen is doing … and how he’s handling this all much better than any of us.
FIRST,
Allen does not think this is Allen. He flagged the following and we talked about this at length:
“It is true the body is perishable, but within it dwells the imperishable Self. Those who know they are not the body pass beyond pleasure and pain to live in abiding joy. In that state, free from attachment, they move at will, laughing, playing, and rejoicing.”
And I believe Allen IS all around us, everywhere, laughing, playing, and rejoicing.
So while I try to survive this unbearable grief, I’ve been looking for Allen everywhere. And he keeps finding me and sharing his peace with me. I see him in the beauty of nature and I feel him in each of your compassionate embraces.
I think he would like me, our kids, and all of us to be a little more like him.
He wants us to be more patient, more generous with our time in helping others.
He wants us to think of others over our selves. He wants us to express our love for each other. And he wants us to cuddle more.
That’s my belief and that’s how I will strive to live and how Lucy and I will strive to raise our kids.
But again we don’t have to guess what Allen would have said about how to live … because he left another note:
“INSTRUCTIONS FOR PRACTICAL LIVING”
Speak the truth.
Swerve not from the good. Never do what is wrong.
Protect your spiritual progress always.
Give your best in learning and teaching.
See the divine in your mother, father, Teacher, and guest.
Give with love. Give with joy.
tribute written and read by
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Lauren Bogue Mackey |
My sweet Allen. Nothing in this world could have prepared me for having to say goodbye to you. You tried to make me brave and strong, but I’m not. Not like you. You tried to help me face my fears but the only way I ever could was by shutting my eyes, letting you hold me tight, and being comforted that you would help me conquer any suffering that came our way. We made each other promises and made plans for our life that have shattered my heart and I am so angry that we won’t still be laughing together, fifty years from now, old and gray and still joyously in love.
I am afraid I am not ready for laughter or rose-colored reflection. I grasp at the edges of our happy memories in desperation to live them one more time. I would trade the useless decades of a life apart from you for even one more day at your side – and we had so many perfect days. They were perfect because of the way you loved me and I loved you. And you never let me doubt that we would face the future together, hands held tight even if the earth should cave under our feet.
The world already knows that you were generous, gentle, and gifted. I don’t know how to tell them more because what I came to realize through our years is that your mind was incomprehensibly deep. I spent countless hours within your eyes trying to learn more about you, and more from you, and now I can never be done searching for more of you. Every fiber of my being remembers you. Every fiber of my being is you. How can it be that one of us lives while the other does not? I am confused by that world. I am disturbed by that world. And I try to remember all the advice you gave me about lucid dreaming – hoping with each light switch I touch that I will realize I am asleep and be able to wake up from this nightmare. Or, as I close my eyes, I remember how we would ask before bed, “where would you like to meet in our dreams tonight?” and I try so hard to figure out where I should go to find you.
Our day to day lives may have seen good times and bad times but I can honestly say that our marriage was always good times. I have never been more proud to be anything than I am proud to have been your wife, and proud of the relationship, the life, the wonderland kingdom we built together. I wish you could see, my angel, my sleepy bear, all the tear-stained faces that came to say goodbye to you today. I wish you could hold the wife, and family, and friends who need you so much. I wish we had the benefit of your wisdom to deal with this. I want you back. And I will never stop wanting you, never stop loving you, and never stop searching for you. I am overwhelmed by your love. And I love you, my darling, until the end of time.
I am afraid I am not ready for laughter or rose-colored reflection. I grasp at the edges of our happy memories in desperation to live them one more time. I would trade the useless decades of a life apart from you for even one more day at your side – and we had so many perfect days. They were perfect because of the way you loved me and I loved you. And you never let me doubt that we would face the future together, hands held tight even if the earth should cave under our feet.
The world already knows that you were generous, gentle, and gifted. I don’t know how to tell them more because what I came to realize through our years is that your mind was incomprehensibly deep. I spent countless hours within your eyes trying to learn more about you, and more from you, and now I can never be done searching for more of you. Every fiber of my being remembers you. Every fiber of my being is you. How can it be that one of us lives while the other does not? I am confused by that world. I am disturbed by that world. And I try to remember all the advice you gave me about lucid dreaming – hoping with each light switch I touch that I will realize I am asleep and be able to wake up from this nightmare. Or, as I close my eyes, I remember how we would ask before bed, “where would you like to meet in our dreams tonight?” and I try so hard to figure out where I should go to find you.
Our day to day lives may have seen good times and bad times but I can honestly say that our marriage was always good times. I have never been more proud to be anything than I am proud to have been your wife, and proud of the relationship, the life, the wonderland kingdom we built together. I wish you could see, my angel, my sleepy bear, all the tear-stained faces that came to say goodbye to you today. I wish you could hold the wife, and family, and friends who need you so much. I wish we had the benefit of your wisdom to deal with this. I want you back. And I will never stop wanting you, never stop loving you, and never stop searching for you. I am overwhelmed by your love. And I love you, my darling, until the end of time.